To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that’s all.
– Oscar Wilde

Is this all there is?

01. How my story began

For some of us, it feels like living as a black woman means living in a parallel universe. There is our world, often full of unique challenges and struggles, then there’s other world above us where everyone else lives, separated by a gossamer layer that nonetheless feels like reinforced steel.

For too long, we’ve been onlookers into this thin divide, but feeling invisible and overlooked. But often when we are seen, it’s through the distorted lens of stereotypes, bias, and ignorance.

My mission is to break down the walls of these two worlds allowing for the world to see the beauty, intellect and fierce femininity of black women, who have for far too long, been robbed of the opportunity to express ourselves in all our fullness.

Like most black women, I grew up believing that my world was meant to be small. There was a specific set of goals, expectations and responsibilities I was supposed to follow. Perhaps it was my unquenchable curiosity, tinged with a dash of rebellion, that made me want to outgrow the confines of the box society stuffed me.

My journey has not been a straight line, and I assure you, I did not wake up like this. I’m not the picture-perfect guru that seems to have all the answers who presents a flawless persona to the world. Such pretense is impossible for us mere mortals. 

I remember being about sixteen years old when I made my first huge mistake. I won’t get into what it was—that’s not important—the feelings were. The deep despair, and feelings of hopelessness. Then I thought: there must be some reason for why we go through these trials and heartbreaks. Something that is meant to be learned, integrated, and synthesized into what later becomes the wiser self. It became a puzzle with the pieces falling together over time, with the full picture making sense when I stepped away and saw the scene in the fullness of perspective.

Each mistake was a puzzle piece that fit into another, and into another. While I looked at myself, I also observed others. I realized that I was not the only one asking the question, “Is this all there is??”

Coloring outside the lines

02. SWIRLING, THE BOOK

I first broke out of the box publicly when I wrote Swirling, the first how-to interracial dating book from a black woman’s perspective published by Simon & Schuster. In 2012, not many black women colored outside of the lines of who was sanctioned as an acceptable mate. The book was inspired by a life-altering love disaster that left me a struggling single mother to the most beautiful daughter, who motivated me to think differently about what qualifies as “husband material.” Soon, CNN, Essence magazine, the Associated Press, USA Today and many other media outlets quoted my view on interracial relationships, single parenting struggles of black women and a controversial solution to our relationship woes based on inclusion, not exclusion.

From Swirling, I discovered hundreds of thousands of fellow travelers, and together we built an online social community where we shared our personal experiences, wins and fails. But many of us were still confined to locked boxes, never realizing we always had the key. Some of us were terrified of venturing into other ecosystems, afraid we didn’t know how to behave and when we showed up, felt like a walking apology. 

The Pink Pill

03. HOW FAILURES BECAME LESSONS

Out of this came The Pink Pill, the first self-development online course specifically tailored to black women. My personal Pink Pill journey started two decades earlier, inspired by a tragic mispronunciation of hors d’oeuvresin the presence of someone who loved me enough to correct me before I made a fool of myself!  I used my failures and faux pas navigating in a class very different from the lifestyle provided from a sharecropper’s son and a school teacher who picked the cotton fields. The failures became lessons of the unwritten rules crafted into a course to help black women better navigate socially, professionally and romantically in the global marketplace.

The success of The Pink Pill and its spinoff, The Pink Pill for College, once again inspired a curiosity to learn more, so I decided to get my credentials as a business and etiquette consultant, certified by one of the most respected schools of its kind in the United States. Then it was on to gaining my certification as a style consultant. This knowledge allowed me to create the powerhouse course, The Pink Pill for Business, also inspired by my disastrous stint in Corporate America managed by horrible boss. This revolutionary course is the first of its kind that teaches black women how to successfully navigate the workplace with the knowledge of soft skills that most colleges and universities don’t teach, but is nonetheless absolutely essential.

Coloring outside the lines

02. SWIRLING, THE BOOK

I first broke out of the box publicly when I wrote Swirling, the first how-to interracial dating book from a black woman’s perspective published by Simon & Schuster. In 2012, not many black women colored outside of the lines of who was sanctioned as an acceptable mate. The book was inspired by a life-altering love disaster that left me a struggling single mother to the most beautiful daughter, who motivated me to think differently about what qualifies as “husband material.” Soon, CNN, Essence magazine, the Associated Press, USA Today and many other media outlets quoted my view on interracial relationships, single parenting struggles of black women and a controversial solution to our relationship woes based on inclusion, not exclusion.

From Swirling, I discovered hundreds of thousands of fellow travelers, and together we built an online social community where we shared our personal experiences, wins and fails. But many of us were still confined to locked boxes, never realizing we always had the key. Some of us were terrified of venturing into other ecosystems, afraid we didn’t know how to behave and when we showed up, felt like a walking apology. 

The Pink Pill

03. HOW FAILURES BECAME LESSONS

Out of this came The Pink Pill, the first self-development online course specifically tailored to black women. My personal Pink Pill journey started two decades earlier, inspired by a tragic mispronunciation of hors d’oeuvres in the presence of someone who loved me enough to correct me before I made a fool of myself!  I used my failures and faux pas navigating in a class very different from the lifestyle provided from a sharecropper’s son and a school teacher who picked the cotton fields. The failures became lessons of the unwritten rules crafted into a course to help black women better navigate socially, professionally and romantically in the global marketplace.

The success of The Pink Pill and its spinoff, The Pink Pill for College, once again inspired a curiosity to learn more, so I decided to get my credentials as a business and etiquette consultant, certified by one of the most respected schools of its kind in the United States. Then it was on to gaining my certification as a style consultant. This knowledge allowed me to create the powerhouse course, The Pink Pill for Business, also inspired by my disastrous stint in Corporate America managed by horrible boss. This revolutionary course is the first of its kind that teaches black women how to successfully navigate the workplace with the knowledge of soft skills that most colleges and universities don’t teach, but is nonetheless absolutely essential.

Forging success from mistakes makes me grateful for them, because my journey brought you here.

Welcome home.